Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example.

Young people admiring media and sports stars who do not set a good example - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6 ยท 274 words.

In the contemporary world, many young individuals are inspired by social media and sports influencers, although they do not provide a positive example for them. From my personal viewpoint, excessive media consumption is not beneficial for young people's emotional well-being, as they may try to fit in unrealistic standards.

One major drawback of social media is that content creators tend to showcase only ideal pictures, disregarding real-life situations, which substantially distorts public perception, especially teenagers and children. Foremost, the faultless scenerios cause young individuals to question and compare themselves, which unfortunately can lead to different insecurities and overall dissatisfaction with their lives. For instance, a teenage girl may admire a celebrity, who is a professional athlete propagandizing an unhealthy diet, and eventually she might end up following their suggestions and emulating their lifestyle, which can result in various health issues. Therefore, it is essential to discern the difference between realistic and unrealistic situations on the internet.

Furthermore, the media has significant influence not only on young individuals but also on the public perception. While before society used to reject plastic surgeries and prefered only skin care procedures, in the modern world many people often decide to undergo operations in order to change physical appearance. For instance, in North Korea, almost every single person has changed the shapes of their nose or eye, which also indicates advancements in medicine.

To sum it all up, in a digital era, media trends and various celebrities, who do not act as a role model, can impact young individuals' mental state, in some cases even physical. Moreover, this may also completely shift societal perception and perspective on some subjects.

Examiner feedback

The essay provides a relevant response to the prompt with a clear structure and understandable arguments. It achieves a Band 6.0 because while it addresses the task, some examples are slightly off-topic or inaccurate, and grammatical slips are present throughout.

Task Response - 6

- Addresses all parts of the task, discussing why stars may not be good examples and the effects on youth. - The position is clear, but some ideas lack full development; the example regarding North Korea is factually inaccurate (likely meant South Korea) and irrelevant to the core argument. - The focus shifts slightly from 'stars' to general 'media trends' in the second body paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion - 6

- Information is organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. - Use of cohesive devices like 'Therefore', 'Furthermore', and 'To sum it all up' provides logical flow. - Paragraphing is used, but the transition between the discussion of young people and general public perception in the second body paragraph is somewhat abrupt.

Lexical Resource - 6

- Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'distorts public perception' and 'emulating their lifestyle'. - There are some inaccuracies in word choice/collocation (e.g., 'propagandizing' is used incorrectly; 'promoting' would be better). - Spelling errors like 'scenerios' and 'prefered' are minor but frequent enough to be noted.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a reasonable degree of accuracy. - Errors in grammar and word order (e.g., 'scenerios', 'prefered', 'the shapes of their nose') are present but do not impede communication. - Punctuation is generally accurate, though some sentences are slightly cumbersome.

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