Once children start school, teachers have more influences on their intellectual and social development than parents.
Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Once children start school, teachers have more influences on their intellectual and social development than parents.
Teachers have more influence on development than parents - IELTS Writing Task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Write at least 250 words.
A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it
Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7 · 354 words.
The question of who plays a much more crucial role in shaping children’s intellectual and social development has always sparked widespread debate. Some people claim that teachers have more influence than parents. I totally agree with this argument and believe that teachers help students develop valuable skills and encourage them to contribute effectively to society.
Perhaps the main reason why teachers play a much more crucial role than parents is skill development. Although I acknowledge that parents shape young people’s behavior and teach them the basics of life, I firmly contend that their role in intellectual and social development is minor compared to that of their tutors. Since teachers encourage students to communicate with their peers, participate in group projects, and develop problem-solving skills, they are more important for children’s cognitive and social development. Spending most of their time engaging with other students and working together, young people share different ideas, perspectives, and solutions to problems with their classmates, thereby becoming well-rounded individuals in the classroom. Consequently, students develop essential skills such as communication, teamwork, and problem-solving. Therefore, skill development can be the primary reason why teachers are much more important in children’s intellectual development than parents.
Furthermore, I personally believe that social contribution can be another contributing factor in explaining why teachers have more impact. When teachers encourage students to take part in community programs and different campaigns, students can provide innovative solutions to urgent issues, thereby becoming effective contributors. By providing solutions for local problems such as pollution and developing new technologies that can resolve these problems effectively, they improve their environment and contribute significantly to their community. As a result, social contribution and even small actions can make meaningful differences in the long term. Thus, creating socially responsible individuals who improve the overall community can be another reason why teachers play a much more crucial role in children’s development.
In conclusion, some people argue that tutors have more influence than parents on children’s intellectual growth. I totally agree with this statement and contend that the skill development and social contribution that teachers provide can be the main reasons behind this argument.
Examiner feedback
The essay is well-structured and clearly addresses the prompt, taking a firm and consistent stance. It demonstrates a strong command of grammar and vocabulary, supported by logical paragraphing and a clear progression of ideas, earning a solid Band 7.
Task Response - 7
- Addresses all parts of the task with a clear, consistent position agreeing with the prompt. - Presents main ideas regarding skill development and social contribution, though some supporting arguments slightly over-generalize. - Fully develops the response with relevant explanations and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion - 7
- Logically organizes information and ideas with a clear overall progression throughout the essay. - Utilizes a good range of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. - Maintains a clear central topic within each paragraph and uses paragraphing effectively.
Lexical Resource - 7
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision (e.g., 'well-rounded individuals', 'innovative solutions'). - Incorporates less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. - Produces virtually no spelling or word formation errors that impede communication.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7
- Employs a wide variety of complex sentence structures with frequent error-free sentences. - Demonstrates strong control of grammar and punctuation throughout the essay. - Sentences are well-structured and grammatically sound.
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