Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health.

Shops should not be allowed to sell food or drinks scientifically proven to be bad for peoples health - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6 · 255 words.

Nowadays, many individuals believe that shops should not be permitted to sell meals or drinks that are scientifically proven to have negative impact on people's health. I parly agree with this view.

Prohibition of meals and drinks that are validated by research to be harmful to people can be explained by many factors. In my opinion, the primary one is high-level of obesity. Most of eats and drinks available in shops consist of high fat or sugar. In this case, individuals sometimes may overconsume them. For example, many individuals blindly drinks soda , such as Coca Cola or Pepsi on a daily basis, which are contain large amount of sugar. As a consequence, over time this may lead to gaining excessive weight and may negatively affect the individual's health.

On the other hand, this approach may also lead to a negative reaction from individuals. The majority of unhealthy but tasty foods and drinks are cheap, whereas the healthy ones quite expensive. If these foods and drinks would not be permitted, many underprivileged households would be able to enjoy them , since they cannot afford healthy ones due to high prices. As a result, this approach could lead to social dissatisfaction and inequity in access to food.

To sum up, I partly agree with this view, since this approach has both advantages, such as reduction in a level of obesity due to overconsumption of fatty meals and large amount of sugar, and disadvantages such as negative reaction from citizens because of high prices of healthy alternatives.

Examiner feedback

The essay achieves a Band 6.0 as it addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and logical structure. To reach a higher band, the candidate needs to improve grammatical precision and expand the range of vocabulary while ensuring more nuanced development of the arguments.

Task Response - 6

- Addresses all parts of the task and presents a relevant position throughout the essay. - Main ideas are presented, such as health impacts and economic accessibility, but could be more fully developed with deeper analysis. - The conclusion summarizes the main points but essentially repeats the introduction without providing a nuanced final thought.

Coherence & Cohesion - 6

- Paragraphing is logical and provides a clear overall progression from the introduction to the conclusion. - Uses cohesive devices such as 'In this case', 'As a consequence', and 'On the other hand' effectively, though some transitions are a bit mechanical. - Referencing is generally clear, but there is some repetition of terms like 'approach' and 'individuals' which limits the score to a 6.

Lexical Resource - 6

- Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task (e.g., 'underprivileged', 'social dissatisfaction', 'scientifically proven'). - Some inaccuracies in word choice and formation (e.g., 'most of eats', 'blindly drinks') occur. - Spelling is generally correct, but the vocabulary range lacks the sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used, but errors in verb forms (e.g., 'which are contain') are present. - Punctuation is generally accurate, though there are minor issues with comma placement. - While errors occur, they rarely reduce communication or clarity of the argument.

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