Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities.

Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6.5 ยท 261 words.

Guardians have to motivate kids to reduce their study time and do more physcial activities. To a certain extent, I admit that physical exerise is important. However, I also believe that it is better to prioritize education.

On the one hand, I admit that staying fit and being active are necessary. Staing in a good physical condition plays fundamental role in children's development. For instance, when children stay active in their youth and participate in physical activities, it helps improve their mental well-being, and reduce the risk of diseases such as obesity, anxiety, and heart illneses. Beyond health, exerice helps build social development. As a result, team sports and group activities teach discipline, communication skills, and leadership. They also assist to build good realtionships with teammates.

On the other hand, I acknowledge that education is more essential than physical activity. In recent years, children have to concentrate more on studying. From a young age some parents want their children to choose a proffesion for their future life. As a result, they tend to study more and focus mainly on their studies.Studying helps improve thinking skills. For example, it develops critical thinking, problem-solving skills, and decision- making abilities, which are useful in eveyday life. Education provides many useful advantgaes. It broadens person's knowledge, improves understanding og the world, and builds children's confidence in their abilities, contributing to their personal growth.

In conclusion, while this viewpoint has some merit, I believe that physical activity is crucial. However, I would argue that nowadays education plays a bigger role than other factors in children's lives.

Examiner feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt with a clear, logical structure and a consistent viewpoint. While the task response and organization are strong (Band 7), the overall score is slightly tempered by frequent spelling mistakes and minor grammatical slips, placing the language components in the Band 6 range.

Task Response - 7

- The candidate addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout the essay. - Main ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of obesity and social skills. - The response explores both sides of the balance but maintains the writer's stance that education remains the priority.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Information is logically organized with a clear progression from the importance of health to the priority of education. - Cohesive devices such as "On the one hand," "Beyond health," and "In recent years" are used appropriately to signal transitions. - Paragraphing is used effectively, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct central topic.

Lexical Resource - 6

- The range of vocabulary is adequate and allows for some precision regarding health and cognitive skills. - Several spelling errors are present throughout the text: "physcial", "exerise", "Staing", "illneses", "realtionships", "proffesion", "advantgaes", and "og". - Word choice and collocations are generally appropriate (e.g., "mental well-being," "critical thinking").

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used, generally with good control. - Some minor errors in sentence structure and minor omissions (e.g., "plays fundamental role" instead of "plays a fundamental role") are present. - Punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are occasional spacing issues (e.g., "studies.Studying").

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