Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, etc) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, etc) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes.

Many people put personal information online address telephone number everyday activities socializing social networks banking purposes - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 8.5 ยท 255 words.

In recent years, an increasing number of people have shared their personal information, such as their home address, telephone number, and banking details, on the internet for daily activities like social networking and online transactions. While this trend offers greater convenience, I believe it is a **negative development** because it exposes individuals to serious security and privacy risks.

On the one hand, providing personal information online has made many aspects of modern life much easier. Social networking platforms allow people to stay connected with friends and relatives regardless of distance. Similarly, online banking enables users to transfer money, pay bills, and manage their finances without visiting a bank. As a result, people can save both time and effort, making their daily routines more efficient.

However, the disadvantages of sharing personal data online outweigh these benefits. One major concern is the growing threat of cybercrime. Hackers can steal sensitive information, including bank account details and passwords, leading to financial losses or identity theft. Moreover, personal data collected by companies may be sold to third parties or used for targeted advertising without users' full awareness. This lack of privacy can make individuals feel that they have little control over their own information. For example, many people have reported receiving fraudulent phone calls or emails after their personal details were leaked in data breaches.

In conclusion, although sharing personal information online has made communication and financial services more convenient, I believe it is an overall negative development because of the increasing risks to privacy, security, and personal safety.

Examiner feedback

This is an exceptionally strong essay that demonstrates a near-native command of the English language. It balances logical organization with a wide variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary, clearly justifying its high score.

Task Response - 8

- Fully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the reasons for sharing information and the resulting risks. - The position is clear, consistent, and well-developed throughout the essay. - Ideas are well-supported, though the first body paragraph could benefit from slightly more depth to match the high level of the second.

Coherence & Cohesion - 9

- Sophisticated use of transition markers (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', 'As a result') creates a seamless flow of ideas. - Paragraphing is logical and skillful, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct, clear central topic. - Referencing and substitution are handled naturally, avoiding repetitive phrasing while maintaining clarity.

Lexical Resource - 8

- Uses a wide range of vocabulary that allows for precision (e.g., 'fraudulent', 'data breaches', 'identity theft', 'targeted advertising'). - Collocations are natural and sophisticated throughout the response. - Spelling and word formation are accurate with no detectable errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 9

- Demonstrates a wide range of complex structures used with full flexibility and accuracy. - Sentence variety is excellent, moving between simple, compound, and complex forms effortlessly. - Punctuation is flawless, supporting the reader's understanding of complex points.

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