Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

Government Reduce Illness Focus Environmental Pollution Housing - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 9 ยท 309 words.

Public health is shaped by numerous factors, and some argue that governments would do better to tackle environmental pollution and substandard housing rather than investing solely in healthcare systems. I largely agree with this view, as addressing the root causes of illness is often more effective than merely treating its symptoms.

Firstly, environmental pollution is directly linked to a wide range of diseases. Air pollution, for instance, has been shown to increase rates of respiratory illnesses such as asthma and bronchitis, while contaminated water supplies can spread infectious diseases. By investing in cleaner energy sources, stricter emissions regulations, and improved waste management systems, governments could significantly reduce the prevalence of such conditions. This would not only improve public health outcomes but also ease the long-term financial burden on healthcare systems, since prevention is generally far less costly than treatment.

Secondly, poor housing conditions are a major yet often overlooked contributor to illness. Overcrowded, damp, or poorly ventilated homes can facilitate the spread of respiratory infections and exacerbate conditions like mould-related allergies. Furthermore, inadequate housing is closely associated with mental health problems, given the stress caused by unstable or unsafe living environments. Governments that prioritize affordable housing initiatives and enforce stricter building standards could therefore prevent a considerable number of both physical and psychological illnesses before they arise.

However, it would be short-sighted to suggest that environmental and housing reforms alone can prevent all illness, since factors such as genetics, lifestyle choices, and access to medical care also play a critical role. Consequently, while these structural changes should be prioritized, they ought to complement rather than replace investment in healthcare infrastructure.

In conclusion, I believe governments should indeed place greater emphasis on reducing pollution and improving housing conditions, as these measures address the underlying causes of many illnesses. Nevertheless, a balanced approach that also maintains strong healthcare provision remains essential.

Examiner feedback

This is an exceptional essay that meets the criteria for Band 9. It demonstrates a sophisticated command of English, with a logical argument structure, precise vocabulary, and flawless grammar, addressing the prompt with depth and clarity.

Task Response - 9

- Fully addresses all parts of the task with a well-developed and nuanced position. - Ideas are fully extended, moving from general premises to specific health impacts (respiratory illnesses, mental health). - The conclusion perfectly synthesizes the arguments presented in the body.

Coherence & Cohesion - 9

- Sophisticated paragraphing with each paragraph containing a clear, central topic. - Cohesive devices are used so naturally that they attract no attention. - Logical progression is seamless from the introduction of root causes to specific examples and the final balanced conclusion.

Lexical Resource - 9

- Uses a very wide range of vocabulary with sophisticated control of lexical features (e.g., 'substandard housing', 'exacerbate', 'prevalence'). - Collocations are natural and precise (e.g., 'financial burden', 'underlying causes', 'structural changes'). - No spelling or word formation errors are present.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 9

- Wide range of complex structures used with full flexibility and accuracy. - Sentence variety is excellent, including conditional structures and complex subordinate clauses. - Punctuation is flawless throughout the response.

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