Some people believe that family plays a powerful role in a child's development. Others think that other influences, such as television, friends, and music, have a bigger effect on children.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Some people believe that family plays a powerful role in a child's development. Others think that other influences, such as television, friends, and music, have a bigger effect on children.

Family vs Television Friends Music Child Development - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7.5 · 284 words.

"It is often argued that the family unit exerts the most significant influence on a child's upbringing. However, others contend that external factors, such as media, peer groups, and music, play a more substantial role. This essay will examine both perspectives before concluding that while outside influences are prevalent, the family remains the primary foundation of development."

On the one hand, the family is the first group a child interacts with. Parents teach children basic manners, how to speak, and how to behave. For example, if parents encourage their children to be honest and hardworking, the children usually grow up with these values. Because children spend most of their early years at home, the habits they learn from their parents stay with them for a long time.

On the other hand, as children grow older, they start to spend more time with their friends and on the internet. Peer pressure is very powerful, and many teenagers change their style or hobbies to fit in with their friends. Additionally, television and social media show children different ways of living and thinking. For instance, celebrities or popular music can influence a child’s clothes and the way they talk more than their parents do.

In my opinion, both sides are important, but the family is the foundation. While friends and media might change a child’s temporary interests, the deep personality and core values are usually formed at home. Parents provide the support and discipline that help children handle the negative influences from the outside world.

In conclusion, even though friends and modern media have a large impact on children today, I believe the family's role is more significant because it builds the child’s character from the beginning.

Examiner feedback

This is a very strong essay that clearly addresses the prompt with a logical structure and high grammatical accuracy. The score is primarily driven by the clear progression of ideas and error-free writing, though a more sophisticated range of vocabulary would be needed to reach the highest bands.

Task Response - 8

- The response sufficiently addresses all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both family and external influences. - The position is clearly stated in the introduction and consistently maintained throughout the essay. - Ideas are well-developed with relevant examples, such as the mention of honesty as a value and the impact of celebrities on fashion.

Coherence & Cohesion - 8

- The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two distinct body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a concluding opinion. - Cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'Additionally', 'For instance') are used effectively to guide the reader. - Each paragraph focuses on a clear central topic, ensuring smooth progression from childhood foundations to adolescent influences.

Lexical Resource - 7

- There is a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for flexibility and precision (e.g., 'exerts', 'substantial', 'prevalent', 'foundation'). - Less common lexical items are used with awareness of style (e.g., 'peer pressure', 'core values'). - While the vocabulary is accurate and appropriate, it lacks the 'sophisticated control' or 'natural flair' required for Band 8 or 9.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 8

- The writer uses a wide range of structures, including complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions ('Because...', 'While...', 'If...'). - The majority of sentences are error-free, showing high control of grammar and punctuation. - Minor points could be improved by using more varied structures, such as inversion or passive voice, but the current accuracy is very high.

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