The diagram below shows a small local museum and its surroundings in 1957 and 2007.

Small local museum and its surroundings in 1957 and 2007 - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6 · 204 words.

the given maps illustrate a small local museum and its surroundings in 1957 and 2007. overall, it is evident that the museum experienced a number of radical changes, with the exception of the garden and road which remained completely unchanged throughout the span given.

in 1957, there was an entrance hall in the southern part with the museum storeroom in the south-east, and local history room in the southwest. while there was a part of the garden in the north-east, a national history exhibition was located in the centre of the map.

in 2007, an education centre and a special exhibition room were built, which was in the disappearance of part of the garden which was in the north-east. while there was a national history exhibition below the garden, it made way for a local history room, which was located in the south-western part of the museum in 1957. moreover, the museum shop was relocated to the former local history room. the road in the middle was removed and a car park was built in the south-east. other alterations included the construction of reception (in the middle of the museum), a cafe (in the south-east) and a new entrance (adjacent to the museum shop).

Examiner feedback

The response effectively communicates the transformations of the museum using a clear chronological structure. However, it is held back by a factual contradiction in the overview regarding the road and some awkward grammatical phrasing. To improve, focus on ensuring the summary accurately reflects the entire data set.

Task Achievement - 6

- The response identifies the main changes but includes a significant factual contradiction in the overview: it claims the road "remained completely unchanged" but later correctly states it was "removed". - All key features of the map are mentioned, including the new rooms, the shop, and the car park. - Data is selected appropriately, though the overview's inaccuracy limits the score.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- The response is organized logically using a chronological approach (1957 followed by 2007). - Cohesive devices like "while", "moreover", and "other alterations" are used to link ideas. - There is a clear progression of information, though referencing could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource - 6

- The vocabulary is generally adequate with terms like "radical changes", "relocated", and "adjacent". - Some phrasing is unnatural, particularly "which was in the disappearance of", which lacks the precision of a Band 7 or 8 response. - Word choice is sufficient to convey the changes but lacks the variety expected at higher levels.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with moderate success. - There are basic errors in capitalization at the start of the essay and some awkward syntax in complex clauses. - Punctuation is generally accurate, but sentence structures like "which was in the disappearance of" are grammatically strained.

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