The chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012.

Number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012 - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7 · 202 words.

The provided bar chart illustrates the number of skilled migrants who moved to Australia across four categories: Accountant, Cook, Software engineer, and Computer programmer in the years 2009, 2010, 2011 and 2012. Data is measured in thousands.

Overall, Accountant accounted for the largest number throughout the period, while Computer programmer represented the lowest. Furthermore, Software engineer showed dramatic surge before dropping at the end of the period.

To begin with, Accountant began at 20,000 in 2009, then increased significantly to about 27,000 in 2010; furthermore, it showed notable drop by about 4,000 in 2011, then dipped to about 22,000 in the following year. In addition, Cook's figure was about 2,000 higher in 2009 than in 2010, then recorded nearly 18,000 and 16,000 in 2011 and 2012 respectively.

Turning to the remaining sectors, Computer programmer ranked last in all the years, started at about 2,000 in 2009, before reaching just below 5,000 in 2010, moreover, it recorded nearly the same as that of 2009 at about 2,000, then recorded its peak at about 5,000 in 2012. Software Engineer started at nearly 18,000, before increasing to 20,000 in 2010; additionally, the figure of Software engineer in 2011 was 5,000 higher than that of 2012.

Examiner feedback

This is a solid Band 7.0 performance. The report is well-organized, covers all the key features of the bar chart, and provides a clear overview. To improve, focus on more natural subject-verb agreements and more varied sentence structures to avoid a 'mechanical' list-like feel in the data description.

Task Achievement - 7

- The response covers all requirements of the task by identifying the main trends and highlighting key data points for all four occupations. - A clear overview is provided in the second paragraph, identifying the most and least popular occupations. - Data is accurately cited from the chart, though the comparisons between years could be more nuanced to reach a higher band.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on specific categories. - Cohesive devices such as "Furthermore," "To begin with," and "Turning to" provide a clear progression of ideas. - Paragraphing is used effectively to separate different groups of data, though some transitions between data points feel slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource - 7

- The vocabulary is sufficient for the task, with appropriate synonyms for movement (e.g., "dipped," "increased significantly," "recorded its peak"). - There is some awareness of collocation, although using "Accountant" to refer to the number of workers is slightly imprecise compared to "The number of accountants." - Spelling and word formation are accurate throughout the response.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7

- A variety of complex structures is used, such as "before dropping at the end of the period" and "nearly the same as that of 2009." - Grammar and punctuation are generally well-controlled, with many error-free sentences. - Minor errors exist, such as missing articles ("showed [a] dramatic surge") and slightly awkward phrasing ("Accountant began at..."), but they do not impede communication.

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