The graph shows Japanese average monthly salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1973, and the prices of black and white Television and colored Television during the same period.

Japanese Average Monthly Salary TV Prices 1953-1973 Line Graph - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7 · 180 words.

The line graph illustrates the average monthly salary in Japan, together with the price of black and white television and colored tv between 1953 and 1973.

Overall, the average monthly salary in Japan rose substantially throughout the period and became higher than the prices of both types of television by 1973. In contrast, the prices of both colour and black-and-white televisions declined overall, with the latter showing a more gradual decrease.

The figure for monthly salary accounted for the highest amount throughout during the final year, with the figure standing at 30 in 1953 before increasing to 40 over the following five years, after which it rose sharply to 180, making it the largest proportion in 1973. Furthermore, in 1968, the monthly salary equalled the price of a coloured television at approximately ¥100.

Meanwhile, the price of coloured tv followed a downward trend, falling significantly from 180 in 1958 to roughly 110 in 1965, after which it continued to fall steadily. Likewise, Black-and-white television stood at 100 at the beginning of the period before decreasing considerably to 40 in 1973.

Examiner feedback

This is a strong response that clearly communicates the main trends and supports them with accurate data. To reach a higher band, focus on more sophisticated comparative structures and ensure that technical vocabulary like 'accounted for' is used in the correct context.

Task Achievement - 7

- All requirements of the task are met, with a clear overview provided that highlights the opposing trends of salary and prices. - Key features, including the starting points, ending points, and the intersection of data lines, are correctly identified. - Data is used effectively to support the description, though the specific unit (thousands of Yen) could have been clarified if present on the original axes.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two detailed body paragraphs. - Cohesive devices such as "In contrast," "Furthermore," and "Meanwhile" are used effectively to signal transitions. - There is a clear progression of information, though some transitions between data points within paragraphs could be smoother.

Lexical Resource - 7

- The vocabulary is appropriate for describing trends, using terms like "substantially," "gradual decrease," and "downward trend." - Some minor issues with collocation occur, such as "accounted for the highest amount" (typically used for percentages/parts of a whole). - There is a good range of synonyms used to avoid repetition (e.g., "rose," "increased," "standing at").

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7

- A good variety of complex structures is used, including relative clauses ("after which it rose...") and participial phrases ("making it the largest..."). - The majority of sentences are error-free, maintaining a high level of accuracy. - Punctuation is generally well-managed, supporting the clarity of the comparisons.

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